Monthly Archive for February, 2008

Florida Stories, WordPress in WordProgess and more…

Published on 27 February, 2008 in Life and WordPress. 1 Comment

.: I spoke with Pip for a while tonight. 

    Turns out her mother (Gantor) has shaved Pip's head. 

    Bald.

    She seems pretty much okay with it, being bald.  I guess that there's been a fairly serious lice problem down in Florida, and they decided that this was the best way to combat it all.  I've never had lice personally (lucked out somehow), but I know that I wouldn't shave my head if I did.  I'm losing hair fast enough now.  Why rush things along?

    But now, if and when she comes back to New York while it's still winter, what will she do to keep her head and the back of her neck warm?  Hats? Scarves?  I can't see her using them long enough to lose them, which might happen if she uses them long enough.  

    She told me some stories about her dilemmas and trials in Florida.  The girls who are stupid, the boys that she likes-who are stupid.  She also told me about some kid named Big Mike, who's apparently about 16 years old and is the local bully that the kids down there hang out with.  I didn't ask Pip if they had a choice in the matter, I was too busy listening about his misdeeds and the question didn't occur to me until after we got off the phone.

    Big Mike likes to hurt the other kids, I guess.  Body slammed a small eleven year old boy when he came to Pip's aid because BM was twisting her arm.  I think that if I should happen to get to Florida before they come back (which was the plan, though that was before Gantor said they'd be back in weeks, not months), I'll have to see this BM kid for myself.  Maybe speak to him about why I've turned my back on the violent paths.  Maybe show him why, too.  Because it's only fun to hurt someone for about two seconds, if you're any kind of human being with a lick of empathy.  Even when they deserve it, it's not fun, just necessary.

    BM.  Heh, that means shit.

    I really do miss my girl right now.  I miss her big time. 

.:On the other side of things, Innerwebs still churning along at 88mph.  Had to have been the fucking first 2 cat5 cables.  Damn it.  I could have been so much more productive these past few weeks had we just bought a new cable.  Had we known, anyway.  I swore it was the router, and still even suspect it, although at the moment it has quite the alibi.

.:Did the rough pencils and rough dialog for Jedi Jesus.  Put it in six panels, which I'll work on some more tomorrow.  If it's slow enough at work, I may even get it inked and scanned. 

.:Came a long way tonight on the new theme.  And now that it's looking mostly the way I want, I'll clean up the code, remove the extraneous personal shit and perhaps release it for public consumption.  Will also likely set up the adapted ComicPress theme to go with it for people who want to use it for comics.  

    The problem I'm having now deals with the TTFTitles plugin.  Somehow I hosed it for use on the main blog, even though it works fine on other WordPress installs on this site.  I've dumped it from the server and reinstalled it and it's still hosed.  I'll play with it tomorrow, and then if I can't figure the fucker out, I'll go get help out on the webespheres. 

    So technically, we'll call it version .9 at this moment.  Version 1.0 will be the cleaned up and spiffified version.  

    The next step is going to be a fully original theme using all code from scratch.  I also want to get some paper on php so that I can possibly start doing some minor coding of my own.  I have a couple of ideas for plugins and the like.  I would also like to set up my WordPress so that I can have a comic in a page that can be updated on said static page.  Though perhaps a plugin would be best suited for that as well.   

.:It's late.

    For me anyway.  Time for bed.

AB

from deep13 

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Fucking Router: Healed?

Published on 27 February, 2008 in Life and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

.: It appears that the problem with the router may have been solved.

    I have been working online for a little over two hours now with no interruption.  This is unprecedented. The problem seems to have actually been the cat5 cable that ran from the cable modem to the router.  I had tried to change it before, and the results had been the same.  So today, just to try 'one more thing' before biting the bullet and kicking in for a new router, I handed Chef a good quality, shorter cable and suggested trying it out, doubting it would make any difference.  Chef hooked it up (since upon my descent to deep 13, I had no internets) and voila!

    I seem to have internets.  

    God bless America, Chef, and the people who will hopefully never notice that the nice cat5 cable is gone.

AB 

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Before the Internets Bat Me Down

Published on 27 February, 2008 in Internet and Life. 0 Comments

.:The first version of the new theme is live.  Has been for days, but between tinkering with it (I can't get the pwity titles to work) and getting knocked offline more times than I can imagine, I haven't, like, announced it with words. 

    So more work on it tonight.  Once I get it stable, and clean up the codes, I'll make it an official release and also use it across the whole site (wordpress anyway, take some mod to get it working elsewhere).

.:Gantor is coming back to NY with my kids.   

    I won't say I'm not really happy about this development.  But my hope was that Pip would finish out the school year, and since they're probably not heading back down there anytime soon, I also feel some sorrow on the behalf of Gantor.  Because she really liked living down there.  It just sucks that things have turned to so much shit around her that she feels that this is her best option.  

.:More on many things later, including updates on what's happening with Jedi Jesus, Bad Napkin Art and other Ill-Literacy.

AB 

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in which I steal this device from sleepjunky…

Published on 19 February, 2008 in Life. 5 Comments

.: I have been getting nothing accomplished the past two days as far as any work goes. 

    But that's okay.  I've been doing other things. 

    I went out to my brother's house yesterday.  Turns out his girlfriend's ex-husband has been causing some serious trouble for her.  I've never met the douche, and if he's lucky, I never will.  Things should be resolved tomorrow, I hope.  I wish them luck and lend any and all support I can muster.  It's just a real shitty situation that makes me wonder what the fuck the human race is thinking at any given moment.

.:Slept for shit last night.

.:Visited a couple of friends I haven't seen in a while.  Doing a little catch-up.  Met up with The Dude after at Barnes & Noble, where I was too burned out to engage in any meaningful conversation. 

.:Now I'm home, going to bed as soon as I pack my lunch for tomorrow.  And tomorrow, back to work (by which I mean my work, which is something I do when I'm done with my job and not being a social moth). 

.:And Jedi Jesus may be delayed and will likely be moving to a 6 panel format this week. It may just be that I'm pretty drained from all the extra thinking, but I can't seem to find anything funny to do in this weeks installment.  Which actually makes it about the same as the past two weeks.  

AB from Deep 13 

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mySpace survey says . . . I have keyboard tourettes!

Published on 18 February, 2008 in Life and What the...?. 2 Comments Tags: , , , .

.: I should probably stay away from the mySpace. 

    Apparently, I have this very bad habit of occasionally filling out the survey/bulletin things.  Aside from the fact that it increases my pointless bandwidth footprint (which is large enough, thanks to this site), it seems that I am very, very crass.

    Which wouldn't be a problem if I remembered the sorts of things that I write down as answers.  I am oblivious to what I respond with.  I go full bore stream of consciousness when I jot down my quick answers to ridiculous questions.  And they're good answers.  Funny even, since people like to call me or email me with comments in regards to them, and they all seem to be amused.  

Example: Q. Sweats or Jeans?  A. I sweat trying to get into her jeans.  The fat whore.

    What the fuck is that about?

    But I'm glad that I'm amusing someone.  Even if it means that my 14 year old niece feels the need to scold me while she giggles at my answers.  Even if it means that the pope will excommunicate me again this year, even though it's only February and I remain purely a Catholic by birth.  Even if it means that a glance at the survey will cause spontaneous vomiting and bleeding eyes in members of the Second Life Wiccan community, and stigmata in household pets.

    Enjoy.

ARE YOU…
1. Perfect? I am fucking incredible. Which doesn't really answer the question. So I guess not.
2. Tall?: Taller. Taller than you, maybe. Not so tall as that guy, though.
3. In your pajamas?: I have no pyjamas, I sleep in some dingy pair of short that occasionally try to escape.
4. Left handed? Left handed people are evil bastards and fornicate succubi in drunken orgies while farm animals and senior citizens look on whilst chewing cud.

God I wish I was left handed.

LAST:
1. Friend you saw: Tara.
2. Talked to on the phone: Some bitch who thinks that her house is "freezing to death" and got mad when I explained that her house can't literally freeze to death, being a collection of inanimate objects and items thrown together to shelter and amuse her, and that said collection would be warmer if she paid her bill. People who don't pay their bills don't get to bitch like that. You got no money? I can understand that, believe me when I say this. But you got to get your shit in the proper perspective when you call the guy who can get you heat. (Shit, I don't have heat in the office, and this is what we do!).
3. Person to text you: I don't know. Shelly or Andi.
4. Was today better than yesterday? Not so far.

FAVOURITES:
1. Number: 42. No explanation necessary.
2. Colour(s): Purple, yellow and black. And fuck you, black is a color. Ask the people at the DMV. Of course, the boy genius in me disagrees. Which is why I don't let him take these fucking surveys with me.
3. Fruit: Lemon.
4. Place: Wherever I am when Angela is there. God, I really miss my kids.

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Q: What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up?
A: Insulted the Queen of England in a tirade that would make a trucker with tourettes blush. Then I wondered what the fuck I was talking about and went back to bed.

Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
A: Yeah. You. You're bothering me. And I will kick your ass for it someday.

Q: What's the last movie you watched in theaters?
A: Cloverfield.

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: In my pants. Because I was so busy answering this, that I forgot that I needed to go.

Q. Do you smile a lot?
A: No.

Q: Do you wish upon stars?
A: Yes.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: No.

Q: Where did you sleep last night?
A: Beneath the pines, beneath the pines, where the sun never shines, i shivered the whole night through.

Q: Why did you sleep there?
A: Fuck. You got me. Okay, i fucking lied.

Q: When was the last time you cried?
A: Last night (well, two nights ago now). But it was just a tear. got it yawning.

Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night?
A: Me no sleep last night.

Q: Rate life as of right now one being bad ten being great?
A: 8/2

Q. What do you hear right now?
A: Deadbolt. "One day I'll swing where the little birdies sing."

Q: Does anything hurt right now?
A: Like you fucking care. You fucking hypocritical lice ridden rat sucking mother fucking bastard.

Q: What's your favorite month?
A: April. Because it's the cruelest month. Yes, I've read a poem.

Q: What did you do last night?
A: Worked at KOSCO. Which meant working on my website, getting some writing done, and listening to bastard shitting fucks whine about how they have no heat because they ran out of oil from a lack of money to pay bills with, and then they whine and yell, when they should be kissing a little ass. You're not permitted to feel righteous with someone you owe over a thousand dollars to for the right to kill the planet burning fossil fuels you whining fucking baby. Get a fucking solar panel or freeze, because you won't get any oil from me with that fucking diva attitude.

EIGHT EMOTIONS:
1. Are you missing someone right now?: I miss my 'wife' and kids.
2. Are you happy?: No. Besides missing people, I'm stuck at work in the cold with only this bulletin survey to entertain me whilst I await the relief.
3. Are you sad?: Yes. But I still touch myself anyway.
4. Are you bored?: Apparantfuckingly
6. Are you nervous?: Like a chihuahua. No.
7. Are you single?: No? Yes.
8. Are you tired?: Fucking-A right I am.

ABOUT YOU:
001. Real name?: Armand Henri Internets Charpentier 2.0
002. Nick name?: Mondo O'Toole
003. Eye color?: Brown
004. Zodiac sign?: Cancer
005. Male or female?: Male
008. Slut?: I could be, but who needs that kind of responsibility?
009. Smart?: I'm a fucking genius, baby. And this is what I do with it. So maybe not.
010. Hair color?: Brownlike.
011. Long or short?: Yes.
013. Sweats or Jeans?: I sweat getting you out of your jeans you fat whore.
014. Phone or Camera?: I have both onight, and in separate units.
016. Drink or Smoke?: Like a mother fucker. But not often.
020. Tattoos?: De plains!
021. Righty or lefty?: I can play the piano with my cock. . . just, you know not very well.

FIRSTS :
024. First best friend?: Chris something.
025. first crush?: Jennifer Wasserman. I fucking loved her. I was like, seven or something.
026. where did you go?: In Jennifer Wasserman's closet, and in my shorts. Fucking premature ejaculation. I was like, seven or something.
027. First pet?: Aside from the dog my mom killed when I was away at camp, I had a rat named Wanda.
028. First big vacation?: Virginia to fool around with some girl I met on the netweb.

CURRENTLY :
049. Eating?: A salad.
050. Drinking?: Diet Pepsi
052. I'm about to: Get the fuck out of work.
053. Listening to?: Pandora.
054. Plans for today?: Sleep, read and kill someones pet while it sleeps.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
068. Lips or eyes?: Lips.
070. Shorter or taller?: Shorter
072. Romantic or spontaneous?: Romance
073. Nice stomach or nice arms?: belly
074. Sensitive or loud?: loud, but not in a really fucking irritating way
075. Hook-up
or relationship?: relationship,

HAVE YOU EVER :
079. Drank bubbles?: All the time.
080. Lost glasses/contacts?: Yeah, bitch still can't see.
081. Ran away from home?: Yah
084. Broken someone's heart?: Yah
085. Been arrested?: never convicted.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself?: More than I believe in you. But it's a quantum thing.
090. Miracles?: Yeah, but it's a quantum thing.
091. Love at first sight?: Sure, why the hell not.
092. Heaven?: Not in a traditional sense.
093. Santa Claus?: Sure.
094. Love?: Yes.
095. Kiss on the first date?: If I can get my face between her thighs, I will.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
097. Do you like someone?: A couple of people.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life?: I'm not upset.
099. Do you believe in God?: Not in a traditional sense.
100. Post as 100 Truths… Sure. Ass.

.: My gateway to the worlds wides webs seems to be flaky.  I will bitch about this in every post until it is resolved.

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Ill-Literates theme

Published on 16 February, 2008 in WordPress. 0 Comments Tags: , .

.:I'm working on a new theme for the site.  The plan is to use what I'm using as a theme now, which is 'Freedom Black', as a main template and then using a lot of the stuff from the 'ComicPress' theme inside of it so that the main theme can be used for both.

    The first version is simply going to be the mash-up of the two.  What I'm hoping to do with that is to incorporate the comic into a 'static' page, as opposed to being something that WordPress is going to look for on the main blog.  

    What I'd like to do, in the end, is write the entire thing from scratch, and to set it up so that when you 'write' from the dashboard, the choices will be for a post, regular page, or a comic page (with the potential to write more than one comic).  

    I don't know how difficult or easy that will be, since I don't mess around with the core WordPress stuff so much.  I mostly just take other people's themes and fuck them all up.

    Version 0.1 Checklist

  •  mash up Freedom Black and Comic Press.
  • make it so that you can post a comic in a page.

    Easy checklist.  I just wish I could do most of it in the basement, instead of upstairs on the Windows ridden laptop where I have to run to reset the router every ten or fifteen minutes.

    And yes, Alex, it does make me insane.  

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Random! Damn you all! Random!

Published on 15 February, 2008 in Internet, Jedi Jesus, Life and What the...?. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

.: Just got home from work, a grueling 14 hour day.  Grueling because it started at 3am, and there was fucking shit to do the entire time. 

     Of course, it wasn't all bad.  I was able to finish the coloring on Jedi Jesus 002, and get it up on the comics page, which was a nice change of pace.  I mean, the fucking strip is on schedule, which is insane when you consider that I'm never on schedule with anything I promise on the interwubs. 

.:A while ago, like years and years ago, I once had this thing for this girl.  She was fun, funny and fairly cool.  It didn't really work out, like most of my relationships at the time-I was being heavily blocked by a faction of filthy, dirty psychotic girls who wanted me all to themselves, just not in any way that meant blowing dust off a condom wrapper.  I bumped into her a couple of times a few years ago.  Even had coffee once, and talked about her ex-husband who had the seriously unfortunate habit (apparently picked up from his family) of wiping his ass after taking a shit (no that's not the unfortunate habit), and then throwing the used, shitty toilet paper in the trash. 

    The bathroom trash.   Right in there.  Shit laden used toilet paper to share with the world.

    I wish I were kidding, and I must say that I think that this went far towards his being an "ex".

    So today, I was in the Hannafords (super-market) cashing my pay-check, when I saw her with some guy.  I hadn't seen her in years, and there she was with some guy who looked like he was a little soft in the head (but probably wasn't, I think that about almost everybody).  She looked really good.  Sounded really good.  Fuck, she even smelled really good. 

    So I ignored her.

    You see, that's the stupid shit I'm capable of.  Petty, shy or embarrassed, it's no excuse.  You should say hi to someone who has a giggle that makes you remember in one split second that you once really, really liked them, and why.

    So I suck.  And I'm comfortable sharing it.  That's what makes me a better person.  The whole innerwebs is like my fucking 12 step program.  If I see her again, I will say hello I think.

.:Speaking of 12 step programs and innerwebs:

    After some discussion with some folk, I want to state that you CAN NOT do re-hab or 12 step online.  You can get some support with your problem, sure. But if you're sitting in your room doing drugs or taking swigs of Jack Daniels between IM's, it doesn't count.

.:I really, really miss my girls.  

.:Finally, I will say that the new comic engine and possibly a new theme from scratch may be up this coming weekend.  Same with the Calendar, which I said last week and apparently LIED about. 

.:Go read Jedi Jesus or I will have cats shit on your keyboards.

    But not really.

    Because I don't have those resources.

AB 

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