.: I spoke with Pip for a while tonight. 

    Turns out her mother (Gantor) has shaved Pip's head. 

    Bald.

    She seems pretty much okay with it, being bald.  I guess that there's been a fairly serious lice problem down in Florida, and they decided that this was the best way to combat it all.  I've never had lice personally (lucked out somehow), but I know that I wouldn't shave my head if I did.  I'm losing hair fast enough now.  Why rush things along?

    But now, if and when she comes back to New York while it's still winter, what will she do to keep her head and the back of her neck warm?  Hats? Scarves?  I can't see her using them long enough to lose them, which might happen if she uses them long enough.  

    She told me some stories about her dilemmas and trials in Florida.  The girls who are stupid, the boys that she likes-who are stupid.  She also told me about some kid named Big Mike, who's apparently about 16 years old and is the local bully that the kids down there hang out with.  I didn't ask Pip if they had a choice in the matter, I was too busy listening about his misdeeds and the question didn't occur to me until after we got off the phone.

    Big Mike likes to hurt the other kids, I guess.  Body slammed a small eleven year old boy when he came to Pip's aid because BM was twisting her arm.  I think that if I should happen to get to Florida before they come back (which was the plan, though that was before Gantor said they'd be back in weeks, not months), I'll have to see this BM kid for myself.  Maybe speak to him about why I've turned my back on the violent paths.  Maybe show him why, too.  Because it's only fun to hurt someone for about two seconds, if you're any kind of human being with a lick of empathy.  Even when they deserve it, it's not fun, just necessary.

    BM.  Heh, that means shit.

    I really do miss my girl right now.  I miss her big time. 

.:On the other side of things, Innerwebs still churning along at 88mph.  Had to have been the fucking first 2 cat5 cables.  Damn it.  I could have been so much more productive these past few weeks had we just bought a new cable.  Had we known, anyway.  I swore it was the router, and still even suspect it, although at the moment it has quite the alibi.

.:Did the rough pencils and rough dialog for Jedi Jesus.  Put it in six panels, which I'll work on some more tomorrow.  If it's slow enough at work, I may even get it inked and scanned. 

.:Came a long way tonight on the new theme.  And now that it's looking mostly the way I want, I'll clean up the code, remove the extraneous personal shit and perhaps release it for public consumption.  Will also likely set up the adapted ComicPress theme to go with it for people who want to use it for comics.  

    The problem I'm having now deals with the TTFTitles plugin.  Somehow I hosed it for use on the main blog, even though it works fine on other WordPress installs on this site.  I've dumped it from the server and reinstalled it and it's still hosed.  I'll play with it tomorrow, and then if I can't figure the fucker out, I'll go get help out on the webespheres. 

    So technically, we'll call it version .9 at this moment.  Version 1.0 will be the cleaned up and spiffified version.  

    The next step is going to be a fully original theme using all code from scratch.  I also want to get some paper on php so that I can possibly start doing some minor coding of my own.  I have a couple of ideas for plugins and the like.  I would also like to set up my WordPress so that I can have a comic in a page that can be updated on said static page.  Though perhaps a plugin would be best suited for that as well.   

.:It's late.

    For me anyway.  Time for bed.

AB

from deep13 

.: It appears that the problem with the router may have been solved.

    I have been working online for a little over two hours now with no interruption.  This is unprecedented. The problem seems to have actually been the cat5 cable that ran from the cable modem to the router.  I had tried to change it before, and the results had been the same.  So today, just to try 'one more thing' before biting the bullet and kicking in for a new router, I handed Chef a good quality, shorter cable and suggested trying it out, doubting it would make any difference.  Chef hooked it up (since upon my descent to deep 13, I had no internets) and voila!

    I seem to have internets.  

    God bless America, Chef, and the people who will hopefully never notice that the nice cat5 cable is gone.

AB 

.:The first version of the new theme is live.  Has been for days, but between tinkering with it (I can't get the pwity titles to work) and getting knocked offline more times than I can imagine, I haven't, like, announced it with words. 

    So more work on it tonight.  Once I get it stable, and clean up the codes, I'll make it an official release and also use it across the whole site (wordpress anyway, take some mod to get it working elsewhere).

.:Gantor is coming back to NY with my kids.   

    I won't say I'm not really happy about this development.  But my hope was that Pip would finish out the school year, and since they're probably not heading back down there anytime soon, I also feel some sorrow on the behalf of Gantor.  Because she really liked living down there.  It just sucks that things have turned to so much shit around her that she feels that this is her best option.  

.:More on many things later, including updates on what's happening with Jedi Jesus, Bad Napkin Art and other Ill-Literacy.

AB 

.: I have been getting nothing accomplished the past two days as far as any work goes. 

    But that's okay.  I've been doing other things. 

    I went out to my brother's house yesterday.  Turns out his girlfriend's ex-husband has been causing some serious trouble for her.  I've never met the douche, and if he's lucky, I never will.  Things should be resolved tomorrow, I hope.  I wish them luck and lend any and all support I can muster.  It's just a real shitty situation that makes me wonder what the fuck the human race is thinking at any given moment.

.:Slept for shit last night.

.:Visited a couple of friends I haven't seen in a while.  Doing a little catch-up.  Met up with The Dude after at Barnes & Noble, where I was too burned out to engage in any meaningful conversation. 

.:Now I'm home, going to bed as soon as I pack my lunch for tomorrow.  And tomorrow, back to work (by which I mean my work, which is something I do when I'm done with my job and not being a social moth). 

.:And Jedi Jesus may be delayed and will likely be moving to a 6 panel format this week. It may just be that I'm pretty drained from all the extra thinking, but I can't seem to find anything funny to do in this weeks installment.  Which actually makes it about the same as the past two weeks.  

AB from Deep 13 

.: I should probably stay away from the mySpace. 

    Apparently, I have this very bad habit of occasionally filling out the survey/bulletin things.  Aside from the fact that it increases my pointless bandwidth footprint (which is large enough, thanks to this site), it seems that I am very, very crass.

    Which wouldn't be a problem if I remembered the sorts of things that I write down as answers.  I am oblivious to what I respond with.  I go full bore stream of consciousness when I jot down my quick answers to ridiculous questions.  And they're good answers.  Funny even, since people like to call me or email me with comments in regards to them, and they all seem to be amused.  

Example: Q. Sweats or Jeans?  A. I sweat trying to get into her jeans.  The fat whore.

    What the fuck is that about?

    But I'm glad that I'm amusing someone.  Even if it means that my 14 year old niece feels the need to scold me while she giggles at my answers.  Even if it means that the pope will excommunicate me again this year, even though it's only February and I remain purely a Catholic by birth.  Even if it means that a glance at the survey will cause spontaneous vomiting and bleeding eyes in members of the Second Life Wiccan community, and stigmata in household pets.

    Enjoy.

ARE YOU…
1. Perfect? I am fucking incredible. Which doesn't really answer the question. So I guess not.
2. Tall?: Taller. Taller than you, maybe. Not so tall as that guy, though.
3. In your pajamas?: I have no pyjamas, I sleep in some dingy pair of short that occasionally try to escape.
4. Left handed? Left handed people are evil bastards and fornicate succubi in drunken orgies while farm animals and senior citizens look on whilst chewing cud.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
097. Do you like someone?: A couple of people.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life?: I'm not upset.
099. Do you believe in God?: Not in a traditional sense.
100. Post as 100 Truths… Sure. Ass.

.: My gateway to the worlds wides webs seems to be flaky.  I will bitch about this in every post until it is resolved.

.:I'm working on a new theme for the site.  The plan is to use what I'm using as a theme now, which is 'Freedom Black', as a main template and then using a lot of the stuff from the 'ComicPress' theme inside of it so that the main theme can be used for both.

    The first version is simply going to be the mash-up of the two.  What I'm hoping to do with that is to incorporate the comic into a 'static' page, as opposed to being something that WordPress is going to look for on the main blog.  

    What I'd like to do, in the end, is write the entire thing from scratch, and to set it up so that when you 'write' from the dashboard, the choices will be for a post, regular page, or a comic page (with the potential to write more than one comic).  

    I don't know how difficult or easy that will be, since I don't mess around with the core WordPress stuff so much.  I mostly just take other people's themes and fuck them all up.

    Version 0.1 Checklist

•  mash up Freedom Black and Comic Press.
• make it so that you can post a comic in a page.

    Easy checklist.  I just wish I could do most of it in the basement, instead of upstairs on the Windows ridden laptop where I have to run to reset the router every ten or fifteen minutes.

    And yes, Alex, it does make me insane.  

.: Just got home from work, a grueling 14 hour day.  Grueling because it started at 3am, and there was fucking shit to do the entire time. 

     Of course, it wasn't all bad.  I was able to finish the coloring on Jedi Jesus 002, and get it up on the comics page, which was a nice change of pace.  I mean, the fucking strip is on schedule, which is insane when you consider that I'm never on schedule with anything I promise on the interwubs. 

.:A while ago, like years and years ago, I once had this thing for this girl.  She was fun, funny and fairly cool.  It didn't really work out, like most of my relationships at the time-I was being heavily blocked by a faction of filthy, dirty psychotic girls who wanted me all to themselves, just not in any way that meant blowing dust off a condom wrapper.  I bumped into her a couple of times a few years ago.  Even had coffee once, and talked about her ex-husband who had the seriously unfortunate habit (apparently picked up from his family) of wiping his ass after taking a shit (no that's not the unfortunate habit), and then throwing the used, shitty toilet paper in the trash. 

    The bathroom trash.   Right in there.  Shit laden used toilet paper to share with the world.

    I wish I were kidding, and I must say that I think that this went far towards his being an "ex".

    So today, I was in the Hannafords (super-market) cashing my pay-check, when I saw her with some guy.  I hadn't seen her in years, and there she was with some guy who looked like he was a little soft in the head (but probably wasn't, I think that about almost everybody).  She looked really good.  Sounded really good.  Fuck, she even smelled really good. 

    So I ignored her.

    You see, that's the stupid shit I'm capable of.  Petty, shy or embarrassed, it's no excuse.  You should say hi to someone who has a giggle that makes you remember in one split second that you once really, really liked them, and why.

    So I suck.  And I'm comfortable sharing it.  That's what makes me a better person.  The whole innerwebs is like my fucking 12 step program.  If I see her again, I will say hello I think.

.:Speaking of 12 step programs and innerwebs:

    After some discussion with some folk, I want to state that you CAN NOT do re-hab or 12 step online.  You can get some support with your problem, sure. But if you're sitting in your room doing drugs or taking swigs of Jack Daniels between IM's, it doesn't count.

.:I really, really miss my girls.  

.:Finally, I will say that the new comic engine and possibly a new theme from scratch may be up this coming weekend.  Same with the Calendar, which I said last week and apparently LIED about. 

.:Go read Jedi Jesus or I will have cats shit on your keyboards.

    But not really.

    Because I don't have those resources.

AB 

Up now.  Colored and all from the comfort of work, which is where I've been since 3am. I figure this to be an every

Check it out at http://www.ill-literates.com/comics 

As usual, comments welcome.  

AB 

Part 2 will be up tomorrow.

So will more updates.

Stay tuned, kids…

AB 

.: Well, I asked for it, eh? Things have been getting positively boring at work, almost to the point where personal grooming at my desk becomes an attractive option.  Even on the chilly days, things have been on the slow side. 

Well, this week so far has made up for everything that hasn't happened.  And it's only fucking Wednesday.

Frigid temps Sunday and Monday meant that there was a shit load of work to be done at KOSCO (which is an oil & lp supply and service company).  Then on top of a load of work Tuesday, it starts to fucking snow.

And snow.

And snow.

When I got home, I shoveled a couple of times, trying to keep ahead of it while waiting to hear from work that the night guy couldn't come in.  But I guess he did, since they never called. I finally went to bed at 11 (which is now late for me, I'm such a loser when it comes to work hours, starting at 6am, means up at 4:44am for me.  I like reading a chapter of my book on the can, and enjoy long, hot showers).

This morning. It rained. And poured. Turning the snow into slush and ice and fuck.

So work started out busy, when the network and the printer shit the bed.  That printer is the fucking heart of KOSCO.  All work comes off that printer.  They spent the morning trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong.  The afternoon trying to install a new printer. And a few minutes at the end of the day realizing that it was the network (which I had been saying all along) that was fucked.

Then I left.

And now I'm home.

And I post this hastily because I didn't want anyone to think I was on some extended lazy-ass hiatus.

And now I have work to do on the all new comic, all new comic engine and redesigning my site by coding from scratch.

As if I have that kind of fucking time.

Love,

AB 

.: Just took me five minutes to post the last post, and it may take me another five to post this one. The wireless router keeps shitting the bed, a nice dump into the house network.

My system is in the basement office where I do most of my interwub things.  I like my system. I like Ubuntu and the mouse that I use for pointy/clicky.  I like the basement.

But everytime the router upstairs shits the bed, it means that whatever web work I'm working on is potentially lost when I click to save, because I don't know when I've lost connection.

I'm hardwired to the wireless through some cat5 through the floor from router 1 to router 2 (which is a hardline/wired router).  So I have to trudge up the stairs, reset the router and plod back down and hope that it hangs on long enough to finish some work.  

When you're fucking with the css and design of a website one step at a time to mash things together, this is problematic.

So now I'm working upstairs on the wireless laptop, running windows, and only having to walk ten feet each time the router shits.

And I wanted to bitch.

And I wanted to bitch to you.

So thanks, people of Earth!

AB 

(what happens when I click publish now… hmmm?) 

[thumb:22:l]Yes, the WebComic Engine is running.  

Still needs some work, of course.  Now that I've got the style to match up with the main site, I need to tinker with the content section below the comic.  

And write, draw and color more comics of course.

I'll have to add a logo at the top of the comic, something I hadn't considered when I was planning on using WordPress for the comic, but I'm going to stick with ComicShout for now, and I'll play with other avenues as the mood takes me.

So check out the comic page, and let me know what you think of not only Jedi Jesus, but the whole look of the area.  Remember it's still being worked on, but all comments, suggestions and hate mail is welcome

AB 

Spent a couple of hours goofing around with the WebComic delivery system.

Fuck.

Tried a couple of things, haven't settled so maybe more work from work tomorrow.

One option is a new WordPress install, and then using a theme called ComicPress, which looks very promising, but I couldn't get it to work.  Comic wouldn't show up.  But to be fair, I didn't spend a whole lot of fucking time on it.

Another option, is a nice piece of opensource codework I found out in the wub, ComicShout.

You can see what I did in about three minutes here: ill-literates.com/comics.

More on all this tomorrow.

Bed now.

Delirium begins…

now.

AB     

Read his excellent review here. Comments welcome.

AB 

Click for large, readable comic

[image:21:l]

.: I'm out visiting family in the woods this evening, so not much work will get done tonight.  But it's good to see family. Started working on the new theme (just with pencil and paper, brainstorming and coming up with a layout I like. 

But the important thing is that the first part of Jedi Jesus is penciled, inked and scanned.  Before I post it, I'm toying with the idea of coloring it in GIMP.  I think it'll be much nicer in color.  

Also thinking of using some sort of webcomic engine for presentation.  We'll see.

I gots visiting to do.  

AB 

.:I've been starting to walk. Not far, mind you, and not to anywhere really good. A nightly trip to the local Stewart's for a small coffee I may or may not drink. It's an exercise thing. Twenty minutes of brisk walking to help me not only lose this amazing amount of weight I'd like to shed, but also to boost my energy and stamina for when Angela comes to see me this summer.

I always feel bad when she wants to do something, and I am feeling too tired or lazy to do it. I feel even worse when I do go out somewhere with her, and she notes my struggling for breath and rapidly waning energy as I slow down and reach for another smoke. Granted, the smokes still haven't gone far, but I'm maintaining at less than half a pack a day, and I think I like it right about there for now.

Her birthday recently passed, Angela's. And I called her on her birthday, and I made her cry which was really heart-wrenching and warm at the same time. She just really missed me. As much as I miss her, every fucking day that she's not here. I would have gone down for her birthday. In fact, should have and believe me when I tell you that it was the plan. But the best laid plans can always be smashed, set on fire and stomped out with big combat boots when people can't take personal responsibility for their own lives, and wind up knocking the people around them down when they make a mad dash towards irrationality and general fucking cuckoo-ness.

I can hardly wait until summer, and hope that I'm in good enough shape to make it really good (although she has no cable or cartoons where she is, so I think the first few days will be nothing but brain-melting wads of TV).

.:Thinking about working on a new theme tonight, for the WordPress engine this site runs on. Just laying out some basics, and maybe trying to play with some ideas of things I've seen elsewhere. Gonna write it from scratch, which means that the chances of it seeing the light of day are slim.

But then again, who would have thought I would have posted again tonight?

I should also be updating the Calendar this weekend, and adding some shit there. Again, for those of you who don't remember what that was about, it was about local shit happening in and around Kingston, NY.

Also need to speak to the Dude about Duderotomy.

[image:20:r].:Back to the RL. Start working new hours at work tomorrow. 6am will find me sitting at the dispatch at KOSCO, waiting eagerly for one of my compatriots to come in so that I can move back to my own desk, where I am the Captain. No shit. I am the Captain. Like Captain fucking Kirk.

I'll have to take pictures of the layout of the office. But if I turn my chair 180 degrees, I feel like I'm on the bridge of a Starfleet vessel engaged in the usual missions of office bullshit and politics.

I will get some photos. Have to ask Chef to leave me the camera.

.:Also, for you comic geek bastards like me. Warren Ellis bulletined on the mySpace a nice 'poster' for his new web comic, FreakAngels. Ellis is a pretty god-damned good writer, and the art by some guy named Paul Duffield looks really fucking beautiful. Click the poster and check it out.

.:And that's it for now.

Behave or not. I could care less at the moment.

AB

PS. I've been meaning to share this pointless tidbit that always makes me grin. I usually forget about it after logging in, but recent net problems mean that I'm typing posts in OpenOffice and pasting them into the blog, so I've written this before even logging in… bah, enough!

I use Coppermine for pictures for the site, and a nifty little plugin to work the two together. It works well, and when I log into WordPress, it logs me into Coppermine before taking me to the dashboard. On the brief Coppemine login page, there's the simple message “The error !”, which always makes me think of Brando as Colonel Kurtz.

Well, fuck you, I guess you had to be there.

AB

*With respects to Farscape

.: I apparently have a Facebook account.  I have to admit that I don't ever remember signing up for it.  It would have gone forever unnoticed, but someone found me there and requested my friendship.  So Facebook emailed me and asked me if I wanted this friend, and I replied, "Facebook?  When the fuck did I get a Facebook account?"

So, if you know me personally (because that is what I will be using Facebook for) feel free to hunt me down and add me or whatever.  I haven't really played with it yet, but I hear good things from time to time.  

.: The Giants won Superbowl XLII.  If you don't know this, you either live under a rock, or somewhere outside of the US of A.  Good game. I enjoy. 

.: I think I want to give the Dude his own blog on the site.  I've mentioned this before.  Mentioned calling it Duderotomy.  I can cc all of his posts pretty easily to it, and he could have full autonomy to post when he likes in a manner that suits him.  He can make the site look anyway he'd like, by either doing it his own self, or by asking me to do something for him.  We'll see what he says.

.: Thinking of using the Ill-Mail system again to send out notices, blurbs and other random news. You'll read it here first if I decide to start that up again.

.: Also starting up the web calendar again.  It was a great idea, but involved time and work that I guess was better spent eating very poorly and smoking cigarettes.  I still smoke cigarettes, but I see by my Web-Stats, that a great deal of traffic goes to the Web Calendar, even though it's no longer linked from the main pages of the site.  And the sad thing is that people are only getting one thing out of it, and that's a repeating Monday event of Open Mic at the Muddy Cup in Kingston.

It would be a shame not to try and keep some of that traffic.

Also very popular are the posts of the Dude.  Even if he doesn't believe it and nobody comments.  He's not ignored. 

.: I've been having problems with the net connection here at the house.  I'm not sure if it's the connection itself or–more likely–that the wireless router that we use for the main gateway/access point is starting to shit the bed.   I've lost some good (or written, at least) posts like that, including a review of Cloverfield (which was good).

.: Also having some amusing yet troubling drama problems here at the house. 

Funny, I mean to say.

AB 

Read his primary post here.

And his LOST 4.01 review there.

AB 

Things are getting interesting in the Presidential race. 

By interesting, I mean fuck that shit.  This is why I wish that the Dude would post more often.  But I think he feels ostracized by the separate area. I think I should give him another separate area.  But one that's just his.  The Dude's area.  Call it Duderotomy or some silly nonsense like that.  But the Dude could say what I'm about to say with so much better word makingness. 

The Primary thing is shit.  Absolutely shit.  It goes on for way too fucking long for one thing.  I mean, don't these people have fucking jobs?  As a New Yorker, shouldn't Hillary be doing some of the fucking work I'm paying her for?

I swear to Christ, I'm voting for Gore, myself or Bender Bending Rodriguez.  Except that the latter is a felon.  And it's not even that I like Gore that much as a presidential candidate, I just like him better than I like anyone else.  And it's all because of the Primaries. The Primary system needs to be torn down, set afire and then have the ashes shot into the Sun, and then for good measure, nuke the sun. Then build a better system that not only makes sense, but plays so much less like what it has become.

Reality TV.  It's literally American Idol.  No, wait… that would be so much better if it were literally American Idol.  Which I just noticed is A.I. which is also Artificial Intelligence which sums up American Idol and the Primaries.

Note: I am proud to say that without Maryellen around, I have watched NO American Idol this year. 

But I would love to have Simon as a mediator for some debates, and free to make comments.

The American System: So Free, It's Broken.

Not that I want less freedom in America.  But I would like some more common sense.

Dude, where are you?  2008 needs your wisdom.

You bastard.  

… if I ever get around to finishing the damn thing.

I need to finish inking the first comic, scan it and THEN add the word balloons.  Because I forgot to fucking add them when I started inking the page. 

I'm no professional.

But you knew that.

[image:19:c]

It's the original quick sketch done at work last year that started the fucking thing in my headmeat.  The special effects were done with a highlighter.

The sad thing is that the quick sketch is probably going to be better than most of the comic until I get some arty chops.  I'm no artist, but I could have been had I tried.  I think my mom is still sad that I didn't do much with her gift.  Now, if I could get her to do pencils on JJ… 

I'm hoping to get some more work done on it tomorrow at work.  Depends on how busy it gets.

AB